Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
