I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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