My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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