did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
