OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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