That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
