Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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