so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
