I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize