in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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