I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm passing your future prison.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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