And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
