Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
