Can i not drive my cunt home
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
