the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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