Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
