What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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