kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
