So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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