i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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