The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
