i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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