dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
