dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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