I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
