i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
