You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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