me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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