there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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