Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
