This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
