Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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