it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
