my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize