I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
