and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
