just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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