hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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