Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize