Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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