Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
