I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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