i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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