I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
