I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
