I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
