He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
