Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
