Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
