Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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