just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
