David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's always time for handjobs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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