your room smells of hookers.
And success
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
