it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
