I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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