We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize