I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
