if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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