i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
