My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh god it's open bar.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
