Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
