So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize