How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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